Quizzes

I don't usually find quizzes all that useful, but these two seemed apt. I found the first at bethquick -- thanks Elizabeth. The other I found on the same website. Both results seem accurate, as far as they go. For those of you who know me, the revelation that I'm a Postmodern Christian isn't much of a revelation... I'm curious about their definition of "idealist." It must be philosophical, not common usage... If that's the case, that's probably pretty accurate.

Postmodernist 69% Cultural Creative 69% Fundamentalist 50% Romanticist 50% Existentialist 31% Modernist 25% Materialist 19% Idealist 0% What is Your World View? (updated) created with QuizFarm.com

Christianity 79% Judaism 46% Buddhism 38% Islam 29% Paganism 29% agnosticism 29% Satanism 29% atheism 17% Hinduism 13% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

Jaywalking

I was up late last night, trying to sleep while my wife was away with a friend in Boston (our friend blogs at Theologygirl). After two episodes of Good Eats on the Food Network, I switched to latenight comedy/talk whatever Letterman and Leno are. Letterman was a rerun, so it had to be Jay Leno and the Tonight Show, at least because it was a Jaywalking night. Don't get me wrong, I find that stuff funny, but this time it was a bit disturbing.

Jay's goal was (allegedly) to discover whether men or women knew more about U.S. history, but as you know if you've ever caught Jaywalking, Jay's real point is to tell us just how little our fellow citizens know about the subject. My fellow historians, from the inexperienced first-year history major, to the emeritus professor at an ancient and venerable University -- where did we go wrong?

Don't get me wrong, I can understand Americans not remembering there was a War of 1812, or details about the Spanish-American War, or even who assassinated Lincoln, but some of the things people said last night were beyond funny -- they were downright scary. Jay asked who was Supreme Allied Commander during WWII, who later became president, and one man said George Washington... He asked what side Japan was on during WWII, the United States' or the Nazi's, and another man said the U.S.... He asked true or false (TRUE OR FALSE DEAR READERS), whether jet aircraft were first used during the American Revolution -- you've got it SOMEONE SAID TRUE!

I guess it wouldn't be so bad, but we let these people vote. We actually encourage them to vote. To be fair, democracy scares me (slightly less than most other forms of government), but this kind of ignorance is why. How can we expect people to make informed judgments about government when they don't know anything about the past -- it's not like we have another equally valuable source to consult to determine what might be best to do in the present. It's enough to make me wish for the Second Coming.

Home Alone

Remember the Home Alone movies? Yeah -- apparently that's not me. I HATE being home alone. Unfortunately, that's exactly my state right now, and whenever my wife has to work in Boston.

You see, I've never really lived alone, and I don't like doing it, even in short stints. When I was in college, I lived in the dorms, and once I graduated I moved into a 3 bedroom apartment with friends, and had roommates until I married my wife. Since then, thankfully, I have lived with her. Tonight, however, I can predict less than excellent sleep, as she's far away, and I'll probably be watching Food Network or reading American Jesus (which is an interesting cultural history, if you're interested in that sort of thing).

I get deeply introspective when I'm home alone -- thinking about my sins and shortcomings, and wondering why my life is the way it is -- home alone things. At my best moments these thoughts lead to prayer, confession, and a sense of reconciliation with God, after at least a brief alienation in the midst of my introspection.

Maybe that's why I don't like to be alone -- it reminds me of my most important relationship, and how weak that relationship with God can be. I might be odd for a 21st century American, but I think I'd prefer my guilt and shame in the company of other Christians, rather than in solitude and silence -- early Methodist Class Meetings appeal to me because of their spiritual accountability.

I guess even at these times when I'm alone with God because I can't be anything else, I fear that spiritual apathy might overtake me even in the midst of the silence. At my worst moments I feel like I'm still "Shackled by a heavy burden..." but at my best I can shout with the saints most dedicated to Christ that "He touched me and made me whole!" The thing is, there are days I probably couldn't tell you which was more true.

It's not that I don't want the deepest relationship with God possible, but that I'm too often either too scared or disinterested to take my own spiritual pulse. I think I'm probably scared more than disinterested, because I really do care, but the result is essentially the same. Not that I don't pray, dear readers, but sometimes I don't really pray with the intent of listening for clear and audible answers.

Right now, I'm thinking of a song I remember from my childhood: "Into the fiery furnace, they were there for fast... Nebuchadnezzer thought they'd never last... but God was there, he'd never let them go... Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego!" I think I'll go take my vitals, and see how things are... Whatever else I find, I know I'll find I'm not really home alone.

Proof that Miracles Still Happen...

Today, against all odds, the District Committee on Ordained Ministry (DCOM) agreed to make my wife a certified candidate and approve her for a Local Pastor's License, despite the some unresolvable issues that I mentioned in a previous post. Dear readers, none but the Almighty could overcome the weight of UMC bureaucracy to make such things happen!

For the last year, after finishing seminary, she has been serving a small, part-time church as... uh, I guess she's "officially" been a lay-speaker with pastoral care and administrative responsibilities. According to the Discipline, she hasn't been the "Pastor," or "Minister," per se, but try explaining that to the ordinary congregation (she preaches every week and runs meetings, they have a hard enough time understanding why they can't call her "Reverend"). The first Sunday of each month, a retired UMC elder has lead the congregation in communion... Soon enough, she will be able to lead the people of her church in the celebration of the sacraments, just as she has lead them in worship, prayer, evangelism, outreach, service and the business of the church over the last year.

So far, that's all the good news we have... I still hope that the District Superintendent and the Bishop's Cabinet will find a use for me, even while I'm still a student... but the truth is, I'm not overly optimistic. God may provide an opportunity for me to serve, but the time might not yet be right. In the meantime, I'll pray, hope, and wait...

I know, dear readers, patience is a virtue... but the truth is, it's not exactly a virtue I have in particularly great quantities. I tell you the truth, if patience were the sole measure of faith, I'd be far from the Kingdom of God (as only part of the equation, I'm probably not as far from the Kingdom).

Just if you're wondering if my late-night tummy trouble has turned me off of pork, tonight we'll be having pork sirloin chops with cole slaw and perhaps mashed potatoes with feta. Mmmm... pork and cheese...

Sleepless in the sticks

Last night I slept, well, poorly... I'm not sure if it was because of the practical crisis in my wife's ordination process, or the more mundane possibility that a combination of sausage and manicotti for lunch and grilled ham and cheese was actually more pork and dairy products than any one human being should consume in a day (I'm sure it must be the former, as the latter is clearly an absurdity -- too much ham, cheese and sausage is self-contradictory for people with functional gall-bladders)...

It must be my dear wife's ordination woes -- today she has talked to the pastor of our home church, consulted with two District Superintendents, and done everything but call the Bishop to resolve an unfortunate matter of confusion at the local church level that could stymie the ordination process for her... Some things just don't seem right (like being held responsible for other people's failures -- wasn't Calvary supposed to do something about setting that right?), and far too often, those are things we cannot seem to fix.

We talked to our now-retired former pastor, who told me a story about United Methodist polity: One of the General Boards comissioned a study. When the report came back from the company conducting the study, the representatives of the company told the general board that in all the years they had spent analyzing major corporations, non-profits, and other large corporations they had never seen anything so complicated and complex as the United Methodist Church. The corporate reps had only one question for the general board... "Who's in charge?" Fellow Methodists, how many times have we asked that very question! I bet you know what the General Board staffers said... "Well, no one really runs it, it just sort of runs itself..." Yes, that seems true; yet sometimes, I think I hear a still, small voice trying to speak through all of the beaurocratic clutter that seems to want to silence it, and I know that the One who formed all things, and who commanded the sea to be still is still at work, even in this hyperorganized part of the Body of Christ.

If you're willing to look, there are signs of hope that the Spirit is at work all over the place. Today, I went to help move the leftovers from a church supper fundraiser -- a New England church tradition -- to be served at a free meal for those in the community who can't afford to feed their families without help. The woman who heads up the project in my wife's church has been widowed for just over a week, but was gladly busy with the work she does after every church supper. Christ is active in His Body, leading the saints in building His Kingdom, even when the darkness seems to be closing in on us.